Archive for the 'sex' Category

My English teacher was trying to explain that Odysseus technically wasn’t cheating on his wife because he was *forced* to sleep with Calypso, and this football player in the back of the room raises his hand and asks “So…is it cheating if he liked it?”IMMD 

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Seamonkey-Sama

My sister is a lesbian and she and her partner have two adorable little boys. I was babysitting one day for the 6 year old and one of his friends when the two started fighting. I pulled them apart and asked my nephew what the deal was. He said, “Randy says all dogs are boys and all cats are girls, but I know that’s not true because where to puppys and kittens come from? Two boys can have sex… well, they can it just doesn’t DO anything!” IMMD

On one of the last days of school last year, we were reviewing some trig. The teacher asked for some random letters for the corners and sides of his triangle. After lining up the trig ratios as fractions, we ended up with a few random letters on top and S E X on the bottom of the ratio. The teacher immediately grabbed his red chalk, circled it, and wrote “Trig is fun” next to it. It made the whole class’s day.

My professor brought his 3-year-old into Taco Bell and the cashier smiled and said "now where did you get such a pretty little girl?" The professor deadpanned "Her? Oh, we made her." IMMD

Submitted by: moodyblue

Last week my Grandparents watched our house when we went out of town to Vegas. We got the cable bill today, and they rented $20 in movies. $5 for "Aliens in the Attic" and $15 for "10 Best: Group Sex Scenes." IMMD

Submitted by: Go Granny!

In one of my classes my professor was trying to get us to think of words associated with a topic, some of which was sexually geared. Someone asked if we could use the word orgasm again. My professor rejected it, saying that she was tired of orgasms. IMMD.

Submitted by: Elysium

While working on a group answer to the question “When do you know you are ready to have sex?” in my grade 12 Sex Ed class, one naive (and not too bright) student seriously replied, “When you’re on top.” After the initial laughter of his classmates died down, a girl asked him if he was a virgin. "No," he sincerely replied, “I’m a Canadian.” IMMD.

Submitted by: Jenn