Archive for the 'poop' Category

Our cats are always terrorizing me and my fiance. Recently, he crept behind the orneriest cat and gently spooked him, which literally scared a little poop nugget right out of it that landed on the floor. We were both in shock and in tears laughing and our cat walked away in shame. IMMD

My 5 year old son called me in to the bathroom the other day and asked me to wipe his butt. I refused and explained that it was a job he had to do himself, just like everyone else on Earth. As I walked away I heard him grumble, “they shouldn’t have called it Earth, they should have just called it the wipe-your-own-butt planet.” IMMD!

I was doing my laundry when a guy with Down’s Syndrome and his helper came in. The guy with Down’s looks at his helper and says “Mike, I laughed so hard I pooped myself” The helper blushed and said “Could you be louder, I don’t think she heard you” and he pointed at me. The guy with Down’s looked at me, leaned over and shouted “I laughed so hard I pooped myself!”. I laughed and he looked so satisfied that now I had heard him that IMMD

Today I was waiting in the airport to pick up my boyfriend. Behind me I heard a mom telling her son to calm down they just had to wait for one more bag and then they could go home to which the kid responded “and then I can poop in my own toilet!” I knew men enjoyed this but I never knew it started so early. IMMD

While working in my front yard a neighbor I hadn’t met stopped to say hello. Meanwhile her very large dog pooped in my yard. I laughed it off and said “when you gotta go, you gotta go!” The next day there was a plant on my front porch with a note from the “neighbor with the bad dog”. IMMD.

I was in a public toilet doing number 2 and it made an audible ‘plop’ – the person in the next stall yells “B4 you sank my battleship!!!” IMMD

Fave Comment

… Yeah, them brown torpedoes pack quite a punch! – gwoodboy

I went to what I thought would be boring a corporate training meeting. An hour in, someone made a shart joke. Then the guy who made it had to, in front of the group, explain what a shart was. The VP laughed so hard he cried and almost fell out of his chair. IMMD.

Fave Comment

… That kind of laughter is the perfect catalyst for a shart. – Erica