Archive for the 'gifts' Category

For Christmas my parents got me the Zombie Survival Guide. They also gave me a crowbar, a kitchen knife, and A pass for a shooting range. When I asked why they responded with “There’s a class 1 outbreak in Japan.” IMMD

Fave Comment

… It’s Japan, the worst we’ll see in the States is…Two Girls, One Corpse. – Narg

My conservative father asked my liberal uncle for a copy of Sarah Palin’s book, “Going Rogue” for Christmas. When my dad opened the present, we all stared at the book’s title, “Going Rouge” thinking that it was a typo. Turned out that my uncle bought the parody, completely by accident. IMMD.

Received a trebuchet from my mum for Christmas IMMD!

Knowing that it was very unlikely, I texted me mom and asked if she bought me the new Victoria’s Secret bra that makes your bust appear 2 sizes larger. Her response? “Oops, sorry no, We were thinking implants.” IMMD.

I asked my brother for a percussion shaker for Christmas. I just discovered a gift under the tree labeled “DO NOT SHAKE.” IMMD.

During our week of Secret Santa at work, one of the days is regift day. This year, someone regifted a nativity made entirely of dogs. The person who received it immediately set it up in her office and called everyone in to see it. IMMD

Fave Comment

… Now I finally have a reason to play my rendition of We Bark you a Merry Bark Bark… – Frogurt

I finally cleaned up the house and discovered not one, but two unopened boxes of diapers that were a gift at my baby shower. my daughter is now big enough to wear them, and i don’t have to get diapers at the store for the next two months! IMMD.