Archive for the 'close but not quite' Category

I teach high school, and one day we were discussing a reading with the word "mammal" in it. After going over how mammals are warm blooded and give birth to live young, I asked the class if we (humans) were mammals. One of my seniors replied instantly and in all seriousness "Not the men miss! We don’t give birth!" To which my co-teacher (who is old enough to be my mom) immediately said "Are you reptiles? Do you lay eggs?" IMMD

Submitted by: Mig

A man on the bus was describing the deeper meanings of Jack and the Beanstalk and ended it with: "The moral of the story is kill stupid kids before they rip you off." IMMD.

Submitted by: WildOkapi

The other day in history, my teacher, meaning "find out about what you don’t know" decided to say "Find your holes and fill them." IMMD.

Submitted by: GIRSDOOMETTE

While discussing famous persons who underwent taxidermy after death in my ethics class, Lenin was brought up. Immediately after mentioning his name someone in the back of the room says "Wait, John Lennon is stuffed and mounted in MOSCOW?!?!?!" IMMD.

Submitted by: JellyBarbosa

At work I overheard a call center employee verify a customer’s personal information. ‘What’s your address? Can I get a good daytime number? Five? No, five is not a good daytime telephone number.’ IMMD

Submitted by: Krumpet

One of my piano students told me her puppy got neutered today. Then she added ‘Mommy’s neutered too.’ IMMD

Submitted by: LinzJupiter