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In biology the professor was explaining how pollen is really just plant sperm. He finished with "Just think about that next time you go outside in the spring and find your car covered in yellow dust!" It was totally gross, but still IMMD
Submitted by: Erin
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now you just have to imagine the plant’s “o” face, and you’re all set
AHA! so THATS why they called so many people “flower chield” in the 60′s – interspiecies breeding with flowers!………… right?
Great – now I’m going to watch with morbid fascination until spas start offering “pollen facials”…
Yup, we all get bukkake’d by plants!
I think of that every time i take my hey fever medication.
That’s an ongoing joke down here in Georgia, that the pine trees get a little frisky with the oaks and dogwoods, and they leave their sperm all over our vehicles.
I twigged to that slightly disturbing reality several years ago (I’m in NC) and I’ve never looked at the yearly yellow blanket the same way again. I’ve never had the courage to point it out to others, but knowing it’s a running joke somewhere else down here in Pine Tree Land MMD!
Pretty much true. The pine trees go out, find an oak tree hooker, maybe a dogwood or elm secondary hooker (for when the oak seems to be no longer interested), and the Wal-Mart parking lot becomes a king-size bed at the Motel 6.
Thanks, I will never feel the same way about my allergies ever again
Great all I can think of now is a car covered in spooge
And it comes from the flowers. So all the women go around sniffing plant genitalia.
Indeed they do, and so do men. And birds and bees bury themselves in them! Plus, animals carry eggs (seeds) on their coats and in their poop. Mother Nature is kinky!
At least those smell good.
I’m a woman who mercifully doesn’t like the smell of most flowers, LOL.
Although Sniffing Plant Genitalia is a great name for a band now that you mention it.
That completely reminds me of when I was back in highschool, and my crazy chemistry teacher was teaching us about amorphous solids. He held up a bottle of ground up sexual organs and showed us how even though it was a solid, it acted like a liquid because of its properties. So then my friend goes: “So wait… when old people die…”
Considering I have an insane enough amount of that yellow stuff all over my black pickup truck bed and hood that complete strangers are noticing and commenting in parking lots, I’m a bit squicked out at this friendly reminder of what we learned in biology years ago.
“Look, Davy, the trees are having sex!”
“ACHEEW! Pardon me, tree c– gets in the weirdest places.”
“Did you just make an off-color joke? I’m so proud of you! Let’s go home and diddle.”
= GlamourLust.
That’s why I call it “tree sex season”
the term i have deemed it is sperminated. as in “the trees have sperminated on my car again and turned it yellow.”
Well, pollen is not exactly plant sperm (it’s a reduced gametophyte, and only produces the sperm cells once it is in contact with the female flower) but it’s close enough for joking purposes!
It carries the DNA, it’s all over the place when it’s released, and only takes effect once it’s in contact with it’s chosen target. Yup, I’d say that’s close enough.
Reminds me of when my grade 10 bio teacher mentioned that mushrooms are the penises of the fungus that is underground. I tormented my mother every time she fried up mushrooms after that.
I have actually used the term “Pine Tree Bukake” in classes I teach. (College-level classes, mind)
no WONDER i keep sneezing! i have sperm stuck in my nose! :O
:p
I had a friend in middle school who, after she sneezed, always said, “I’m allergic to plant sex.”