Today, I was at a local park with my Karate school handing out candy to little kids. Near the end of the night, a guy came up to me dressed as a pirate(I was in my karate gi) and said "Ah, the ultimate decision. Who would win, the ninja or the pirate?" I have know idea who he is, but IMMD.
Submitted by: Alidia_Noctis
My little brother (10) was acting very crazy one day and my mother asked him if they needed to put him on medication. With a perfectly straight face, he replied, "There’s no medication for being awesome." IMMD
Submitted by: Nunya
My boyfriend and I ordered takeout from our favorite Chinese restaurant. When I got to my fortune cookie the fortune inside read "An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly" IMMD
Submitted by: Anassa
While visiting with an older couple from my congregation (mid 80′s), the wife announced that her husband is very sexy when he gets the tea water ready.
Submitted by: Pastor
I couldn’t attend a friend’s dinner party as I was going to be out of town. I am also a vegetarian. We were IMing and she said, "Actually it probably isn’t your thing anyway, I’m cooking Anus steak." (Pause) "ANGUS!! Angus steak!" IMMD.
Submitted by: Amanda
I am currently undergoing Invitro Fertilization. The meds make me very moody. A couple mornings ago my husband was in a very bad mood. My 11 yr old daughter, rolled her eyes at him and said, "Dad, have you been sneaking Mom’s medicine?" He immediately turned red and stomped out of the room and my sassy daughter giggled and asked if that was a "good one?" IMMD
Submitted by: Megan
I’m a teacher’s aide at a high school. One day I mentioned in conversation to another teacher that I liked Xbox and the next day a student I JUST met the day before brought me 3 games to borrow without knowing my name. IMMD
Submitted by: E.J.
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