I own a coffee shop. One of my regulars who is lactose intolerant came in a specifically asked me to fix him a very large mocha, made with whole milk. It seems that the other guys at his work have been farting a lot so he was going to get revenge. While making his drink we discussed strategy. IMMD.
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Based on family experience with lactose intolerance, he’s not going to be farting – but he’d better be within a quick cheeks-clamped sprint of the restroom…
…and he’ll still probably need a new pair of shorts.
There’s varying degrees of severity, I have a friend whose technically lactose intolerant but all that happens is he gets deadly gas. *shudder*
I’m one with a mild case. And I can verify the gas is deadly. I’m surprise paint hasn’t peeled off the walls at home yet.
“Deadly” is putting it mildly….
New coffee tycoon game options: new locations, new technologies, new flatulency abilities.
As a lactose intolerant person, this is awesome.
Agreed, though, I was thinking that I only wish that’d be the outcome for me for drinking a whole milk mocha. ):
Careful…the Army might want to enlist you to replace chemical weapons banned by the Geneva convention.
Soon you’ll see protests with the sign: Stop the Fart Wars!
I read lactose intolerant as Lacoste intolerant… imMd.
You don’t work at Coffee Of Doom, do you? (www.questionablecontent.net)
I love that comic! YMMD!
What a gas!
We didn’t start the fart war
The customer should eat some pork and sauerkraut with it and a nice heavy lager (or 5) to wash it down.
I’m the poster and we DID discuss other foods and beverages should he need more “advanced” weaponry. You’ll all be glad to know that he stopped after a week and apparently won the fart wars. And no, I don’t work at Coffee of Doom but I wish I did.
Should he ever need extra “ammo” might I suggest a healthy portion of cooked cabbage. I love the stuff but when I indulge I have no choice but to stay home after wards. Some describe their gas as having the ability to peel paint, with cabbage I can peel the paint off the car while inside the house.
LMFAO! That’s too much!
I’m lactose intolerant, so is one of the guys I work with. When we want to go home early we go to the corner store for lunch and get a couple quarts of chocolate milk and some boiled eggs.
Almost always out of there by 1230 when the boss cant take it anymore.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is how I win an argument with my hubby and he won’t go sleep on the couch when he needs to.
Dutch oven anyone?
Wonderful article!!! Always keep it up.